Your blood= your family and they generally do want the best for you. But, not all of them and not all of the time. Keep that in mind. Also, keep in mind that things that they are dealing with or they regret can easily be projected on to you and your life and your journey…. try not to let that happen.

theshaderoom own people

It really be your own people sometimes bringing you down. The moral of the story is: everybody who you call your mans, is not reallllly your mans. And every opinion you receive or advice you get, doesn’t need to be used by you at all or at least at that moment. Take what people say with a grain of salt because you are the only one who can truly see the vision. BE YOURSELF, and if you don’t know who that is yet BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE.

kehlani be yourself

I promise this is the only way to live.

jamo

Well. It is officially winter time. Woohooo!!! Bust out the furs or the faux furs for those of us who are either A) Broke AF and can’t afford a real fur, B) Work for PETA, or C) Broke AF so they pretend they are animal lovers so people won’t find out.

The only issue with winter time is that it means it is unfortunately cuffing season.(For those that don’t know, cuffing season is when you find a nice temporary bae to keep you occupied for the winter months; they ultimately get dropped when it gets warm so one is free to be a “hoe” again). Now, I say it is unfortunate because for those of us (cough, me, cough) that aren’t already taken we now must go out and hunt for someone to tend to us, coddle us, and basically be our full-time buddy during the brisk months of the year. No one likes to go hunting when its cold: it’s not as easy to get out the house, it is harder to look cute, and less people are out so there is a smaller pool of people to choose from.

Thus, if you are like me cuffing szn really is lonely szn and I ended up tending, coddling and buddy-ing up with myself. Luckily, I found a huge teddy bear to be my bae and a gallon of Jameson to keep my warm.

Here it is below for any of my followers who wants to bless me during this giving season:

jamo

Do You Ever Ask Yourself Why Me?

jamo

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

Dear anyone who cares,

I am going to be honest I have had a shitty couple of days- primarily due to people treating me unfairly. As I have been going through the motions I have been reflecting on times when my spirit has been broken down. I will describe a situation below:

Last year during a case interview, my interviewer, after I performed the case took it upon himself to critique pretty much everything about me from the way I sat to my face all the way to my background. I was shocked because before I started the interview he made a comment along the lines of, “I’ve heard good things but we shall see how you do with me”. I guess I should have known then. I literally was holding back tears and fled the interview crying for hours. It was crazy because I ended up getting the offer but I can still remember how horrible this man made me feel. During the internship, I ran into the man who did my interview and said “hi, I’m Catherine. You conducted my case interview at Howard University. I’m happy to say I chose to work here”. He responds by saying, “Oh that’s nice. Good luck. I’m sorry I don’t remember you I interview a lot of people”. Now, I don’t know if he was lying or not, but either way it made me realize something. We cannot internalize the negative things people do or say to us because they could care less. He ruined my day, killed my spirit and made me feel less than meanwhile he went on about his day and his life. This situation happened over a year ago and I still get upset about it while this man doesn’t even know who I am.


For me, I have been feeling very down and out lately. I feel very lost and unmotivated. I am petrified for what is to come next and this is being expressed by my lack of desire to be dedicated to school, work, anything really. I am scared of the future and frustrated with the present all while still fantasizing about my most daring and fulfilling dreams.

I am tired of feeling confined and as if there’s nowhere in this world where I can just be me, unapologetically raw and unfiltered. I am exhausted of having to explain myself and to be put on some unrealistic pedestal while my peers get to walk through life blissfully. It is unfair and I wonder if these people knew how they made me feel if they would just STOP. Literally STOP. Sometimes I wonder if I did something drastic would anyone care or would they still be talking shit… I don’t know and I love God too much to test him but sometimes the darkness that clouds my thoughts takes over me and I don’t know what to do.


I am writing this not as a cry for help but as a way for me to release. I know that I am not the only person who feels this way or gets this way. I truly wish I didn’t get these thoughts, feelings or internalized bullies and negative and mean people but I do. I don’t know how to fix it. If you do please share how you get through these things. Ugh

Why me?

– Sober thoughts

Tip of the Week: Bring Your Joy from the Weekend into your Weekdays

jamo

This morning I woke up and thought “dang… I wish it was still Sunday”. I’m sure a lot of you woke up with that feeling too. Afterwards, I also thought how different my school week would go if I brought the same energy into the week as I do the weekend. I have never tried this before but I will give it a shot and report back to yall.

I charge you guys to do the same. Leave me a comment to tell me how this worked for you.

Tip of the Week: Hard work= Success

jamo

“I wake up at 8 AM and go to bed at 4 AM. I am always working.”- Sean “Diddy” Combs

I started this week off with the desire to just be better. I cannot lie, senioritis has been getting me and I literally am unmotivated entirely. But, after attending an event with the CEO of Consumer Banking at JP Morgan Chase, Doug Petno, I felt revived. He said “I never had any real career goals, let alone become a CEO. I just put my head down, knew and did as much as I possibly could to do my job the best I could”. It sounds so simple, right? I found that a lot of successful people have this same story. Diddy said every job he had from cleaning gas station bathrooms to his two-year unpaid internship and now as a CEO, he wanted to be the best and leave people feeling impressed by the work he did.

Success comes from treating every job, task, duty with pride and attention to detail.

I know it’s Hump Day, but remind yourself to work hard– there’s no substitute for it. It is really the best differentiator between you and your competition.

What’s motivating you this week?

jamo

This post is dedicated to last week and all of its glory.

No, but seriously, this post is for everyone who said “school sucks, life sucks, I have been duped”, in that order. If that was you last week, you deserve a glass of wine because “walah”, you’ve made it a new week! If this wasn’t you, well, all you get is a thumbs up because no one likes a shiner.

Sometimes I genuinely think I am being punk’d; I seriously yell out “alright yall, I know you are punkin’ me, where’s Ashton Kutcher?”. Whenever I feel this way, I realize I have to readjust my attitude because if not life will be punkin’ me, and instead I need to punk life. Meaning, I will always come out on top because I will be relentless in completing a task or goal. Diddy taught me during CBC weekend, dedication and preparation are what set you apart and if you look like money, that’s what you attract. I translate this to work really hard and allow yourself to fail while looking your best and being as positive as possible.

Finally, I will leave you with this tidbit of wisdom from the show, A Different World:

“I may have been born in the slums. But the slums weren’t born in me. I can rise above my circumstance”. – Rev. Jesse Jackson

*CBC is the Congressional Black Caucus and Diddy needs no explanation.

No Chaser: Episode 001 Midget Mac

jamo

Cheater, cheater punkin eater! If you were on social media at all this weekend, you couldn’t help but watch Kevin Hart’s life implode by way of one of his “mistakes”. Not quite sure how you slip in fall in vagina over and over again, but hey, who am I. I know I am gonna sound very cynical, but I am tired and these stories always get under my skin.

Now, I know some of you may be thinking: Men cheat, this is not a new concept. Why are people so worked up about this specific case?”. First of all, we need to stop excusing poor behavior with generalizations- men, nor women, should be cheating in the first place. And in terms of this specific couple, this trainwreck was bound to happen due to a series of social media blunders. If you have been out of the loop, I will catch you up– grab some Jameson though because this is a mess.

  • First, Kevin Hart has been a cheater: he cheated on his ex-wife, Torrei, a LOT but blamed it on him being 22.
  • One of Kevin Harts mistresses is his now wife, Eniko aka “my rib”. She recently had an IG showdown with Torrei. The following video details it all.
  • Now fast forward to the last month where there was a consistent buzz that Kevin was cheating again but Kevin denied and even said people are always mad that a woman is happy ending it with #teamLOVE like Diddy was giving him a check or something.
  • So here we are today, one of the people Kevin stepped out with is attempting to extort him for millions after she shopped the video and pictures she took to the blogs. The video is blurry but you can hear and see people having sex, then a short Black man that favors Kevin gets up and starts talking. #onceacheateralwaysacheater

 

Its sad to say, but I don’t feel bad for Eniko. You lose em, how you got em, sis! That formula wins every time- we saw it with Bradgelina and I’m still waiting on Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz.

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How do yall feel? Would you stay with your partner or in the age of social media, would the public humiliation be too much to bear? Let’s chat in the comments.

 

1 of 1: Wine Drunk

wine

It started off like any other Monday — me being pissed off that I needed to get up. I never feel like going to school and most likely need to let the weekend dissolve me, but nonetheless, I still go to class like any Honors student would :).

Some memorable highlights of the day included me not realizing I had homework for the majority of my classes and it being nippy out whilst I wearing a slip dress and Birkenstocks. I almost forgot to mention my never-ending marketing summit from 11-5 paired with the cruel reminder it would pick back up same time on Wednesday. Wouldn’t you rather be drinking wine on a vineyard somewhere pretending responsibilities, life, decisions and Trump didn’t exist? So how does one rectify a Monday such as this? You run into your mans- Big Willie aka Willy Wonka, and decide that you needed to make a Trader Joes run. We finally arrive to the store where we were welcomed with a free red wine tasting (red wine is not my first pick) and it was $4.99. Cheap and slightly tasty…We were SOLD! Will got three bottles of it and I got one. We came back to the West Towers- Will played the smooth oldies and I cooked some chili while drinking our $4.99 bottle of wine. Then Will and I sat and sang smooth oldies for hours while slowly sipping our unpronounceable wine. I got some good sleep this night—which is rare when you are sleeping in a Twin XL.

The moral of the story is always be open to a good day because it can come from the littlest things. If you are moving through life too fast or have decided to be in a bad mood, you may miss your inkling of happiness. Don’t let anyone steal the bits of joy we have left- even if its Monday.

Shoutout to Trader Joes, $4.99 table wine, and my mans Big Willie.

red wine